Japanese husbands, love your wives...

I grew up with the stereotype that Japanese husbands are male chauvinists (less politely but more commonly known as MCPs) who beat up their wives, are waited on by those same poor wives who have to even politely put out slippers for the mistresses whom their husbands have the audacity to bring home.

Even today, Japanese joke about the old-fashioned silent male who only have 3 words for their wives when they get home late at night: rice (御飯) , bath (風呂), newspaper (新聞).

In reality, however, many modern Japanese males are fairly capable cooks, loving fathers and gentle and shy before the opposite sex. Certainly we are seeing many of such in young families, but maybe the old stereotype is still true for the previous generations?

Several weeks ago, however, Mrs Hatoyama, wife of the present Japanese Prime Minister, revealed on a variety programme that her husband always does the dishes, declaring that the person who cooks must not be allowed to wash up.

Which is fine for newly weds when he first started doing dishes - and still fine for the average family, even if the man is a leading politician.

But when he has become the PM of Japan and is getting no rest and hardly any sleep, he continues washing.

"No, no, leave it to me, you will splatter water on your suit and have to be back in the office right after lunch!" Mrs Hatoyama would say. In the end, she would give in and proceed to get ready another jacket for Mr PM to change into after the dishes.

Wow! I thought.

Two days later, at a cell church seminar for pastors, one participant asked,
"How do you handle the demands of ministry and spouse?"

Two Japanese pastors in their 60s replied.

Pastor A:
During my quiet time wtih the Lord every morning, I will ask myself these questions: is there anything to apologise to God for? Is there anything to thank God for? Is there anything to ask God for? Sometime ago, I added one more question. Now I also ask every morning, "what can I do to honour my wife better today?" Now, even when we quarrel, we are able to make peace again more quickly. I highly recommend the exercise.

Pastor B
It seems that men and women understand love differently. For men, sex often demonstrates love but it seems that it is not so for women. My wife, for instance, is the kind who feels loved when acts of service are done for her. If you cook for her, cleans the house and so on, wow, she feels so loved. So since she has a full time job (Pastor B has a part-time job as well as pastors the church) I try to cook dinner everyday, and buy her favourite grapefruit juice to pamper her (and recently wrecked the car in the process!). And, oh yes, I have to remember to sun the comforters and take them in before she gets back from work, otherwise she complains that they comforters get wet in the dusk. The other day I was massaging her while she ate the dinner I cooked in front of the TV, so I told her she is the luckiest wife in the world.



So it looks like not all Japanese men are wife beaters and womanizers after all!